Jeg troede, jeg var blevet mangemillionær

Jeg fik en mail, der fortalte, at jeg havde arvet en masse skønne dollarssmiley:

NOTIFICATION LETTER !!!

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Juriaan Kugger. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Juriaan Kugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

Engr. Juriaan Kugger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.

You are advice to contact me with my personal email: barrandreawfraser.esq@live.co.uk

Await your prompt response.

Yours in Service,

BARRISTER ANDREAW FRASER ESQ.

PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh.Esq Markus Wolfgang, Mr. John Marvey Esq., Mr. Jerry Smith Esq.

Jamen, det var da herligt! Naturligvis ikke at den stakkels mand var død, men at jeg var betænkt i testamentet!
Jeg skriver fluks tilbage (nok med nogle sproglige fejl, men hvad…) – med julelys og $-tegn i øjnene:

Dear Barr. Andreaw Fraser

Thank you very much for your interesting letter regarding late Engr. Juriaan Kugger and his will.
I do remember a very sympatic man with that name from one of my many business travels in the southern parts of Africa.

I would like to receive more information.

Yours sincerely,

Hans Smith
CEO, Danish Cakes

Kort tid efter modtager jeg denne mail:

Barristers’ Chambers:
ANDREAW FRASER & ASSOCIATES
Tel: +44 703 185 9540
Fax: +44 203 004 2365
E-mail: barrandreawfraser@live.co.uk
Address: 33 Bedford Row
London WC1R 4JH, England

ATTENTION: Beneficiary.

We want to acknowledge the receipt of your email in this chamber and also want you to know that you have absolute right to reject this WILL as much as you have the right to accept it as well. If you wish to turn it down then let me know so I can send you a WILL rejection form to fill and revert back to this office. I am not going to impose it on you but just doing my job here.

I can imagine that the late Engr.Juriaan Kugger must have known that you will put the money to good use for the less privileged of which he was aware that you can achieve, that is why he selected you. Also, understand that I don’t know you neither have I met you before, but my contacting you is based on the recommendation of my late Engr.Juriaan Kugger

Be further informed that these funds will not be released to you without some proper identification. I have never met you before like I said and to be able to carry out our duties effectively as sole executors of the WILL of late Engr.Juriaan Kugger, We must be convinced that you are who the testament says you are.

And please re-confirm to us through the above stated fax or via email; your full contact details to include your full name, address telephone, fax number (if any) with a copy of your ID send via email attachment to my office and if you have moved to a new address then indicate both the new and old one for my verification with what I have in my file. Any difference or discrepancies in the information provided by you will mean that I am contacting the wrong person and I will stop all communication with you out rightly.

Your information would be taken to the probate division of the International Court of Justice for verification. After the confirmation, the probate division would now release your letter of administrationfor claims to these bequest/funds. This document as well as the Certificate of Deposit issued by the Deposit Bank to Engr.Juriaan Kuggerwhen the funds were deposited by him will then be released to you; this will give you the legal backing to receiving these funds.

We sincerely hope that the above requirement be sent to us sooner that later for us to proceed with the documentation. And note that we cannot send any document to you until we are fully convinced that we have the true beneficiary. And note that we have period of (14) working days to conclude this so I can move on to the next beneficiary on the WILL of my late client.

Note: We are not demanding any money of form of payment from you for service, we have been fully paid by my late client and all we need is to comply with our directives to make sure your funds are fully transferred.

Find attach copy of my identity card.

I await your prompt response.

Yours in Service,
SEALED
Barrister Andreaw Fraser Esq.

Jamen, dog – tænk at Engr.Juriaan Kugger husker mig (der ikke heeelt husker ham, men lad nu den mindre detalje ligge) – hulk, hulk og snøft!
Jeg tjekker lige adressen på Google Maps… jo, det ligner jo et nydeligt kvarter i London.
Så jeg skriver tilbage, og jeg har et problem:

Dear Barrister Andreaw Fraser Esq.

Thank you very much for your fast reply.
I am indeed touched by the thought that Engr.Juriaan Kugger have died. Do you have any information you can share with me regarding his death? How did it happen? Was he sick for long, did he in any way suffer, or did it happen suddenly and without notice?

Of course, I will not reject his will, but at the moment my only scanner is broken so it is impossible for me to a copy of my ID to your office. I hope that you understand my problem.

Is it possible to keep the will in private between you and me?

Sincerely,

Hans Smith
CEO, Danish Cakes

Og hvad skriver den gode advokat tilbage med emnet AWAIT YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE?:

Attention: Beneficiary.

We want to acknowledge the receipt of your email in this chamber and also want you to know that you have absolute right to reject this WILL as much as you have the right to accept it as well. If you wish to turn it down then let me know so I can send you a WILL rejection form to fill and revert back to this office. I am not going to impose it on you but just doing my job here.

Having carried out all the required process as regards, we needs your full details i mean your ID and your full names and home Address for proper verifications so that we can verify with the one on the WILL and without summiting your full details to the court, the court cannot release the PROBATE ORDER, for security reasons as well.

Do send your full info as soon as possible

Yours in Service,

Barr. Andreaw Fraser.

Når jeg nu en gang har forklaret ham mit problem?
Men, OK, nu stiller jeg ham et løsningsforslag:

Thanks for your reply.

I have been waiting for you to answer all day, I am really excited about this opportunity you are offering me. Even though I am touched by the fact that Engr.Juriaan Kugger have thought of me in his will, as earlier mentioned.

I’ve allways wanted to visit London, so we must plan a trip real soon, ok? It is one of the few great cities I never have had the opportunity to visit. I know it sound a bit strange.
That way we can quickly arrange the practical things as I of course will bring along my passport among other stuff. And you will have the opportunity to inform me more about the circumstances on the death of Engr.Juriaan Kugger. Did he have any kind of family and would it be possible to meet them?

I’d prefer if my company is not involved, so that I can get all the money myself. We’ll keep it private between you and me, ok?

Now for the trip again. Can you arrange for me a place to stay for the time I should be in London?

Hope to hear from you about travel plans soon!

Sincerely,

Hans Smith
CEO, Danish Cakes.

Æv, jeg har ikke hørt fra ham siden…
Jeg vil have mine many dollars-money. Nemlig!

Der er gået et par uger, og for nyligt sendte jeg dette:

Dear Sir

I still waiting to hear from you regarding my proposal about coming to London in the near future.

In the hope it could be possible, I would like to meet members of the
family Kugger in order to express my feelings about the death of
Engr.Juriaan Kugger.

Yours sincerely,

Hans Smith

CEO, Danish Cakes

Jeg venter i spænding!

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